Jepps'ian Riso Fritto Speciale

Well it's Italian-Hawaiian-Chinese Rice of course!20/05/2025
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Jepps'ian Riso Fritto Speciale.png / Simon Jepps

Do you live on a budget? Do you like rice? Well... I've been in the kitchen again. Oh yes I have, but don't worry, before you start hiding behind your protective stuffed Orangutans... this one, I promise you, is ASTRONOMICALLY tasty.

This dish whence translated into English is, Jepps'ian Special Fried Rice. You will have to forgive the extravagance of words... I am Italian.

Now before I give you the recipe, it has probably struck you as questionable already as to why this meal already features a packet of Ben's microwaveable Rice.

Well, honesty is of course the best policy when it comes to food and, to be honest, I can't cook Rice.

Yes, yes, yes, I know what you're thinking, if he can't even cook Rice how on earth does he expect to pull this one off...? Yet in fact, I can cook Rice, it's just that this recipe features Egg Fried Rice and so help me God, I am utterly pathetic at even attempting that.

I have cooked Egg Fried Rice before, it was OK, but not nearly as good as it needs to be for regular consumption and sooo time consuming to perfect.

So microwave rice it is.

Ingredients

These items are for a single serving.

4 rashers of Smoked Bacon
⅓ of a Pepper, I like Green or Red.
⅓ of a Red Onion.
3 or 4 closed cup Mushrooms.
2 rings of Pineapple
A splattering of Worcester Sauce.
65 grams of Parmigiano Regiano.
1 packet of Uncle Ben's microwave Egg Fried Rice

Note, this recipe MUST use real hard Italian Parmigiano Cheese.

Step One

Dice the Bacon rashers into very small pieces.
Dice the Mushrooms into very small pieces.
Dice the Pepper into very small pieces.
Dice the Red Onion into very small pieces.
Dice the Pineapple rings into very small pieces.
Prepare a 65g sprinkling of Parmigiano cheese.

Step Two

Melt half a tablespoon of Butter in the frying pan. Begin frying the diced Bacon and when 50% cooked, add into the frying pan the diced Mushrooms, Pepper, Onion & Pineapple pieces. The Pineapple should be cooked fairly well but not so much to burn and this is because, although we want the Pineapple's sweet flavour, we want it to lose a little potency.

Here now once all these ingredients are underway, add a good splattering of Worcester Sauce. Not to drown everything, but certainly make the pan nicely wet.

Step Three

Shortly before everything in the pan is suitably cooked, put the Ben's Egg Fried Rice into the microwave for two minutes.

Step Four

Pour the contents of the frying pan into a bowl together with the Egg Fried Rice and mix them all up well with a fork.

Once everything from the pan is well blended with the Rice, top the dish off with a 65g sprinkling of grated Parmigiano Cheese. This is the icing on the cake.

Et Voila

This dish is best served with a nice Italian beer, or alternatively Coca Cola... and a slice of Buttered Bread.

The amount of grated Parmigiano is entirely down to taste. I stated a "65g sprinkling" because I simply love the Cheese so much and having a thick coating atop the rice really blasts the taste buds as you crack through the ceiling!

So, if you get all these things right, you have Jepps'ian Riso Fritto Speciale.

Buon appetito!

Thank you for reading.

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