JEPPSQUARE
" Time plays Chess. "
www.jeppsquare.me
Chapter III
DOD / Tuesday 6th April 199308/02/2025⋱ Chatblog ◂ LWTF ⨗
I woke at 7am this morning feeling very tired. I slowly rose out of my bed, kicking the cat off it in the process. As long as I keep away from mad animals I won't catch rabies, I thought. The cat had slept on my clothes! Only God knows what business it may have been up to in the middle of the night! Possibly passed water! Oh no! This didn't help to calm my nerves about rabies.
Anyway, for breakfast I had 'Kellogg's Miel Pops', a simply delicious cereal to start the day. This was shortly followed by a quick "down the hatch" drink of orange juice and then rushed quickly into the car so as to be driven to school.
I was somewhat nervous at the speed this all took place, the whole morning process seemed to have just shot off like a rocket. Anyway, a short drive later and we had arrived once more at Max Linder.
School today started off very relaxing and calm. The first lesson being - Music! Fantastic! The greatest form of communication! The universal language... the subject I so love and adore.
Needless to say I was actually quite looking forward to it.
The teacher in this lesson was very kind to me. As soon as I walked into the room she shook my hand and said, "Hello Simon!" She walked with me to Arnaud's desk and courteously pulled my seat out for me to sit in. I was very taken by this polite behaviour.
She smiled and made her way back to the front of the class.
The teacher started telling the class about classical music and how the instruments play different parts in each piece. Being a musician I didn't need to know much French to work that out. The whole class was extremely interested in the lesson, including myself.
And so it all seemed to be going quite pleasurely, until, all of a sudden a terrible loud noise filled the room and made everyone cover their ears.
⧏ PHHHAAAARRRPPPPPGGGRRRUUUHHHGGGGMMMMMMPPPPGGGGGBBBRRRRMMMM!!!! ⧐
As best as I can articulate and translate into words, that is what the said terrible noise actually sounded like. It really did not agree with me at all.
I tried to see if I could work out what the source of it was and indeed, shortly after trying to see around people's heads, the revelation was made known. A tape player.
The teacher had decided to put on a really old and boring tape of really old and boring classical music, but through a really old and dying tape player. Thus if it wasn't the tape player itself that would shut my brain down for the afternoon, it was the ever, ever so dreary classical music.
So at which point I dropped off to sleep.
Whence, following a somewhat interesting flight amongst wild ducks, I woke up, I happened to find the Music teacher looking at me DEAD in the eyes.
"Simon... la leçon, c'etait intéressant? Oui?" She asked.
Wondering how to bluff it, I responded, "Oh! Mais oui! Oui. C'était bon. J'aime le cassette de musique classical, Madame. C'était trés bon." Some rampant nodding, smiling and thumb raising assisted my tactical counter-measure response.
At which point, Arnaud and I, being opportunists, made polite notice of the time and quickly ran out of the room to our next lesson - Geography.
I hate Geography. I really, really do. It's like witnessing the evolution of a snail; you know something's taking place but haven't really the inquisitive urge to notice.
Anyway, the class eventually filled up and the lesson began. Herewith, whilst not of a geographical merit as such, I did observe many things in this lesson:
- The teacher's long curly side-burns (even though she's a woman).
- All the pictures/photos of flooding and seas.
- How they do a lot of work on computers.
- That fascinating girl who I have fallen desperately in love with.
I can't say I am really complaining though; in fact I've kept them as a memoire of my French school days.
The Geography lesson swiftly moved on and passed to the English lesson, which when it finally came I cheered up tremendously. This will be fun, I thought.
However, to my surprise, the lesson for today wasn't a literary study, or a majestic opportunity to demonstrate my native tongue and finally feel like I somehow know something - but... to watch a VIDEO. And not just any video I must add - a video entirely in French! That's right, in FRENCH! I mean, what is the purpose of an English lesson where you do nothing but study French?!
I then noticed that plastered all along the walls were French poems. There was even a photo of La Rochelle at the head of the room! I just couldn't get my head around it! How bizarre.
I nudged Arnaud.
"Arnaud, Arnaud... are you SURE this is the English lesson?" I asked.
"Oui, mais oui." He laughed and I sank down into my chair.
Eventually when the film had finished and the lesson had almost ended, the teacher approached to talk to me in English about this and that. We chatted about many things to do with England and the Royal Family.
I don't know why, but the French seem to be completely potty about the Royal Family. To be honest I hate royalty and power. But the French seem to love it! They really are intrigued by it. For a republic that is odd - or maybe they just like to admire the determination of a people so devoted to hanging onto their own nonsense. Actually, I remember noticing in another lesson ~ I think it was French ~ how all along the walls of the classroom were hundreds and hundreds of photos... of... Princess... Diana...
... HANG ON A MINUTE.
For heaven's sake! English in a French class and French in an English class?! HELP! What are they on? It must be the horse meat. It must be. It simply HAS to be.
To lunch then, and the first course back at Arnaud's was Chicken - cooked. I think the chicken was meant to be a way of making me think, Hmm, they really do have good taste. However, as I discovered for the second course, they had nothing of the kind.
Ladies and Gentlemen, for the second course, I present to you... COOKED SEA-WEED! Needless to say a few dashes to the toilet were required this lunch time. Crunchy, greeny-black slime is not exactly my "forte". To eat something like that, I have to say, you would have to be somewhat more than 'foreign'.
At 2pm Arnaud and I journeyed back to school by car, for the first lesson in the afternoon - Technology.
The girl I had a crush on was sitting in this lesson. This turned out good for two reasons; one I am of course IN LOVE with her and two I am utterly rubbish at technology ~ meaning I have something exceptionally more interesting to study.
Thus, I now knew via a little birdie that her name was Blondine.
She kept turning around and looking at me. Yes! I may have struck gold at last! I just cannot get over how beautiful she is. She sits there, over the other side of the room, working and talking, always with a smile. It's those lips! Those priceless lips. They're just perfectly kissable. Perfectly. The best.
Needless to say I learnt a great deal this lesson. Except and to say pressingly not however, any more FRENCH. This whole foreign exchange experience has of course been very pressuring because I know very little French and I'm always using a dictionary wherever I go. Well today of course... I've left it at home!
Anyway, not to worry, the final lesson of the day soon finished and all was over. The storm of guilt from still not speaking enough French was soon replaced by a new irresistable urge to learn every romantic phrase under the sun and in time I rationally calmed down.
Arnaud said that he had to buy a new joy-stick for his computer and so when the bell rang for end of school, we ran to his father's car and he drove us to the Supermarché. Arnaud bought his new joy-stick and put it to some use back at the house.
At tea time, as usual I froze and generally tried not to scream. On the table were green things, blue things, red things, black things and white things. As usual I sat through the whole meal trying not to pull faces, or at least not too many, whilst trying to stomach all these weird oddities. Yes... nothing quite beats a French dinner.
As it happened, the evening was very satisfactory, due once again of course to the delicious coffee that Mme. Chasseigne boiled up for me. A game of Tarot with all the family finished the evening off with a shine and so I went to bed, gave the cat a stroke and fell into a long, long sleep... which Blondine had drifted into.
Chatblog ◂ LWTF ⨗⋞ Ch 2 | Ch 4 ⋟
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